Lead into Vineman 70.3

By weeks end I will be one month out from Vineman 70.3, my first big race of the year. Being a month out I should be in the middle of a solid build phase and gradually transitioning to race specific training. I should be in the initial stages of creating a race game plan and taking care of any details in terms of traveling, transportation and race specific things ( packet pick up, racer briefing, bike check in, scouting of the course etc). I should be feeling extremely strong and mentally focused on Vineman and only Vineman. The excitement should be slowly bubbling inside. After all this was what I have been working for.

In reality, I'm still dealing with fatigue from my last race, almost a month ago! For the past two weeks I have done minimal to no training and the two weeks before that I hadn't done much more. This demon, mood altering, gut wrenching, unexplainable, Debbie Downer, wet blanket, anxiety catalyst, dream crusher has thrown a wrench in my plans. It's similar to Jack Sparrow's compass that kept spinning and wouldn't reveal the desired direction he should go.

Before Harryman 70.3 I was on course to achieve every last one of my goals this season. Since Harryman, my compass has been spinning. I'm at a point where my original goals need to be shelved and new goals need to be established and I'm not necessarily talking about splits.

My number one goal right now is to rid my body of this fatigue. I need to focus on getting healthy in order to move forward in achieving my season goals. The strange thing about fatigue is that it is ever changing. One minute I'm feeling better and I get fired up and think about kicking ass this season and the next minute I want to crawl into bed and become consumed by a doomsday mentality. The constant emotional peaks and valleys are exhausting and cause unwelcomed stress. I had originally thought that I was recovering from this fatigue appropriately as mentioned in a previous blog entry however I was neglecting and blind to one huge factor, mental stress. Matt recommended I stop thinking about Vineman and racing and just focus on getting better. It felt like he asked me to stop thinking period. All I ever think about is triathlon. It surprisingly only took me a day or two to finally stop thinking (obsessing) about triathlon and racing. I had to stop assessing my fatigue and it's translation to my performance at Vineman every minute of every day. The result has been a marketable decrease in my overall stress levels. I actually haven't felt this relaxed in a while. This week has been the best I've felt from the point of waking up to going to bed. I have felt on an even keel both mentally and physically. I'm certainly not back to form but I anticipate moving forward towards total recovery as the days pass.

As for my plans for Vineman. I know that achieving my original goals are out the window. I'm also not sure if I will even race. The only way I will race is if this fatigue is gone and I can get at least a week of training in to shake off the rust. If the fatigue is still present then I will not be racing and you can find me at one of the 300 Vineyards in Napa.


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